Volunteering at the Alzheimer Society of Montreal: Repayment in Kind!

Welcome to the Alzheimer Society of Montreal Blog!

Edition #2

April 2019

Author:

Anne Marie Parent

Journalist
Volunteer at the Alzheimer Society of Montreal

Enjoy the blog!

Photo: Bruno Parent

It is my will, desire, and joy to dedicate my time to the Alzheimer Society of Montreal at events such as the Walk for Alzheimer’s in May and the Hector “Toe” Blake Celebrity Golf Tournament in August. Volunteering is my way of giving back. I am happy to support these events because they raise awareness and funds for this extremely important organization that has helped and supported me and my fabulous, forgetful father, as well as 1,700 other Montrealers affected by dementia— out of the 33,000 on the island who live with the disease.

A GROWING NEED FOR SERVICES

Over 125,000 Quebeckers live with Alzheimer’s disease or a related form of dementia, and this number is increasing at an alarming rate— it is expected to rise by 66% in the next 15 years! As a result, support and self-help organizations have no choice but to keep up with the increasing demand for their services. Human and financial resources don’t grow on trees, so sustained, consistent support from professionals and volunteers is vital to ensure that the Alzheimer Societies can carry out their mission.

I do my small part for this very reason— I don’t want the organization that has helped me to disappear, because so many others will also need its support— and also to warmly thank the Alzheimer Society of Montreal team for all they have done for me. Furthermore, I find it highly rewarding to help do good for a worthy cause.

I volunteer at the Alzheimer Society of Montreal because of what I am going through with my father. I am learning to rediscover him every day as his journey progresses, as the love I give him, he gives back to me, is ever present and always moving. People living with dementia may lose some of their memories, but their loved ones will never forget them.

OUR STORY

I am a caregiver for my father, Philippe. He is 85 years old and has frontotemporal dementia, a form of dementia related to Alzheimer’s disease. Four years ago, my brother and I sold our father’s house and moved him into a senior’s residence. Two years later, we had to move him again—this time to a floor for people living with dementia. He had just spent five weeks in hospital and his loss of autonomy had become so great that he could no longer live alone. In order to understand, accept, and live with this new reality, I went looking for help, counselling, and advice from the professionals at the Alzheimer Society of Montreal.

To start, I attended the 8-week information and support group for caregivers. For three and a half years, I also brought my father with me so that he could attend the workshops offered by the Society to people living with dementia. He participated in a range of amusing, stimulating and meaningful activities that made him sincerely happy, such as: art therapy, animal therapy, aromatherapy, yoga, Zumba Gold chair routines, singing, ukulele-building and Christmas decoration workshops, and even visits to the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts as part of the Society’s Art Links program.

I still attend monthly support groups for caregivers that help me deal with the progression of my father’s disease. I learned that it was not the end of the world, just the end of one world and a transition to a new universe where my father changes, while remaining the same happy man he always was. He’s not sad, it’s true, and this is because he is living in the present, not the past. If his present is filled with stimulating and enriching activities, he will remain happy— joyful even— which, in turn, helps the orderlies at his residence to care for him and even remark upon his kindness and good humour.

EMOTIONS AND AMBIGUOUS LOSS

Thanks to the Alzheimer Society of Montreal, I have learned so much about the positive emotions that endure, and that it is important to continue providing my father with opportunities to experience tenderness, joy, pride, dignity, love, and music… Yes, music is the essence of emotion! That’s why it remains with people living with dementia far into the progression of the disease.

The Society has also taught me the meaning of ambiguous loss, the realization that my father is no longer who he always was— a fiercely independent man! Ambiguous loss generates the feelings of grief that one experiences when a loved one dies, however, with dementia, the person has not passed away. With ambiguous loss comes suffering, it’s true, but once we learn to tame it, we can also experience moments of joy alongside it.

These moments become small victories over the inevitable daily decline, and a nod to the happiness that remains through a song we hum together; my father’s unshakeable faith in my strength as he clasps my hand when we walk; his laugh and the twinkle in his eyes as he observes our reactions to the funny faces he pulls; or his pride in having created a masterpiece in one of his art therapy workshops. We learn to put things into perspective, to play down the difficult moments, and to appreciate the simple things that soothe our hearts and wipe away the tears of despair.

Recognition and Repayment

The help of the Alzheimer Society of Montreal has had an immeasurable impact upon both my father and us, his loved ones. The peace of mind that comes from having access to the Society’s services is essential to our well-being. This lifesaver, however, would not exist without the organization’s extraordinary staff and donors. To repay the Society in kind, I volunteer.

By volunteering, I am doing my part to ensure that the Alzheimer Society of Montreal can continue providing services to caregivers and people living with dementia. The number of diagnoses of Alzheimer’s disease and related forms of dementia is increasing at an epidemic rate, mainly due to the aging of the population, and almost all of us will need help—for a family member or a friend— at some point soon, in a future that is coming ever closer.

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